The Truth About Emotions (it’s ok to feel mad)

I have met with so many women in my therapy office who have shut down their emotions because they think it’s the right thing to do. Anger seems particularly difficult for women of faith to understand, manage, and express in healthy ways.

I’m honored to be a new presenter on Deseret Book’s Time Out For Women 2012 Tour “Seek The Good” talking on the topic of developing your most authentic self. Part of the message is the importance of honoring and feeling our emotions. Feelings are a gift to guide our lives. They aren’t “good” or “bad”. Feelings are INFORMATION to guide us to our most authentic self.

Here’s a video clip from a recent TOFW presentation about the importance of honoring our emotions…even anger.

(original post on TOFW.com)

I hope to see YOU at one of the TOFW cities this year!

Have you been taught to shut down “negative” feelings?
What have the consequences been for you? For your emotional and physical health?
How do you manage painful emotions in healthy ways?

Ask Julie: Mother-in-law Passed Away and Left Us $50,000 In Debt

Q: To start off I was best friends with my wife’s mother. She took me in and gave me a family. Within the last 2 years both my wife’s mother and grand father passed away. My wife and I lived with them before we got married.

We ended up getting married twice, once in a church and once in my mother in law’s room at the nursing home. She was 46 years old when she died and it happened this past march.

Since then I have found that we have tons of money to pay out in inheritance tax and to her medical bills if we want to keep our house. My wife has stopped doing anything around the house and she won’t go do any of the legal things that need to be done by her.

How can I get her more motivated without hurting her feelings and how can I keep my sanity though out all of this. I don’t really know what to do to get myself motivated to be happier.

A: I am so sorry to hear about your recent family losses and financial difficulties. You’ve both lost two important support people, and while they can’t be replaced, it important for you and your wife to get additional support during this difficult time. While grieving is different for every person, it seems that your wife’s grieving may have turned into depression. Her “lack of motivation” and difficulty functioning may not be something she can control at this point. Your difficulty being happy is also concerning to me and I recommend that both of you get an assessment for depression by a mental health professional. I also want to encourage you to seek out a grief counselor to help you process your losses, and a grief group so you can talk with other families who are going through similar experiences. To find a therapist and a group in your area click here.

In addition to mental health support, please seek professional advice on your legal and financial matters surrounding your mother-in-law’s passing, if you haven’t already done so. Tax issues and liability for medical bills can be complex and very stressful.

Thank you again for writing.

Take good care of yourself!

Julie Hanks, LCSW

6 Ways To Spring Clean Your Mind: Guest Blog on Sharecare

It’s been 60 degrees in Salt Lake this week and it feels like Spring is in the air! The shift in weather gets me itching to start organizing the house, cleaning up the yard, and doing a little spring cleaning. I’ve also been thinking about doing a little spring cleaning on the inside too.

Since being named the#1 online depression influencer by Sharecare.com I’ve had the chance to guest blog on their website and reach a larger audience with my mental health tips. I’m thrilled about this new guest blog.

Read 6 Ways To Spring Clean Your Mind

Is something cluttering your mind? What do you do to spring clean your inside? I’d love to hear your comments!

Would You See A Virtual Therapist? Psychology Meets Technology SXSW

I had a great time in Austin last weekend presenting on a South By Southwest Interactive panel about the uses of technology, (Read a summary of tweets on Storify) with Dr. John Grohol, Audrey Jung, and Sarah White. Since the presentation I’ve done a couple of interviews on the topic of how technology can help provide support and education to those struggling with mental health problems.

Here are some highlights from interview this week on the benefits of technology, online therapy, and social media for mental health patients, and some words of caution…

The Virtual Therapist Can See You Now Interview on Sharecare Blog

What is the difference between virtual and face-to-face therapy sessions?

While there’s nothing like sitting face-to-face with a client, video sessions, chat and email counseling can be helpful therapeutic tools, especially for clients who are located in rural areas or who are struggling with physical health or mental health challenges that make leaving home difficult.

When thinking about taking therapy sessions online, what should patients be aware of or consider?

It is extremely crucial for patients to thoroughly research the therapist and make sure that the provider is licensed to practice mental health therapy, is clinically experienced in the area the patient is needing help, has received training in providing distance therapy and has experience providing face-to-face psychotherapy.

Read the entire interview

Taking Mental Health Therapy Online Interview with WCG Common Sense Blog

What are the benefits of online interaction for mental health patients?

Common for mental health patients is a sense of isolation and being alone in their struggles. Social media and other online forums provide amazing opportunities for patients get support and connect with others who are experiencing similar mental health challenges. Developing a supportive online community can act as a way help to normalize their feelings, and provide helpful information, advice and advocacy.

How is technology changing patient/therapist interactions?

While therapists still need to guard against development of dual relationships (relationships outside of the therapy office) with their specific clients, I’m seeing a shift in the way mental health practitioners and patients interact online in terms of sharing educational information.

Read the entire article

Ask Julie: I’m Not Happy. I Want To Be Rich And Famous!

Q: I just cant seem to be happy. I’m married and have a baby. I work, have a house, car, family and friends. but nothing pleases me. I want to be famous/rich/popular. When I was younger I wanted to be a actress/singer/writer/director but nothing became of it. I just seem can’t to please myself. I know I sound spoiled and selfish because I have been gifted and beautiful life, but nothing seems to make me happy. Please Help.

A: Please get a screening for depression from a mental health professional. Sometimes even mild depression can make a full life feel unfulfilling and empty. The good news is that depression is very treatable through psychotherapy, medication, or a combination of the two.

You may also want to consider pursuing additional creative outlets. Your dreams of expressing yourself through acting, producing, etc. may be a signal that you have some gifts in this area that deserve attention. While becoming rich and famous is a rare occurrence, pursuing creative outlets can provide an emotional richness and joy to life that may be missing in your current life. Look for opportunities in your community to do what you love in the creative arts and see if that boosts your enjoyment of your life.

I can relate from personal experience to the need to express and create. As a performing songwriter, when I feel an emptiness in my own life, I usually sit down at the piano, or pick up a guitar to discover more joy and meaning again. Please write back and let me know how your mental health screening goes, and share what opportunities you can find to express yourself creatively.

Take good care of yourself!

Julie Hanks, LCSW

Adventures In Private Practice: Vocational Social Worker Dawn Vincent

Specializing in vocational rehabilitation and work/life issues, Australian social worker Dawn Vincent has beenÂ in the mental health field for 25 years. Like many therapists, she considered opening a private practice, but says she lacked the confidence to actually do it.

Read how one private practice course helped her muster up the courage to open her private practice in Camberwell, Victoria, Australia where she helps clients work toward mental health and well-being and navigate changes and choices in life and in work.

Why did you decide to open a private practice?

I had thought about it for about 10 years, but lacked the confidence to go ahead.Â After spending over 20 years in vocational rehabilitation I decided to take my long service leave and think about my options.Â After an overseas trip I came home and enrolled in an Introduction to Private Practice course run by the Australian Association of Social Workers.Â At that time there were only a small number of Social Workers in private practice and it was still somewhat controversial here in Australia.

The profession has a very strong welfare orientation where most Social Workers are employed by the Commonwealth or State governments or work in hospitals and community based settings. Having worked for a large government bureaucracy myself, I liked the idea of the independence and autonomy private practice seemed to offer. I had been a bit of a workaholic and I wanted to move to a better work/life balance and be able to work my own hours.Â The course helped me to decide that private practice was what I wanted and I committed to this goal.

Last week I spoke to group of local therapists on “Marketing Your Private Practice”Â and a record number of people attended the presentation. Why? Because therapists in private practice feel ill-equipped and uncomfortable with the business aspects of private practice.

It’s rare that a marketing course is included in a mental health graduate school curriculum, and few internships and practicums offer marketing mentorship. In my graduate program in social work, just the words “private practice” were treated as “bad words,” as if making money while helping people was somehow morally wrong.

For some therapistsÂ the word marketing brings up feelings of anxiety, even dread. “I am not comfortable with self-promoting,” I’ve heard many therapists say.Â “I’m not in this for the money so I hate to think that I have to market my services.”

Over nearly 10 years in private practice I’ve learned that marketing isn’t as difficult or scary as it sounds. Most therapists already have the relationship skills that make marketing effective. You’re already good at building relationships and communicating. You just need to apply your skills differently. Read more

3 Surprising Things About Mental Health: Sharecare.com Interview

In December, Sharecare Now named me the #1 online depression influencer of the past year! Crazy, huh? I love how the internet makes the world feel smaller because it allows us to talk to people all over the planet!

Since December, I’ve been in touch with the great folks at Sharecare who are passionate about connecting people with accurate health information online. A few weeks ago I chatted with the delightful Anne Kerueger, the Editorial Director at Sharecare.com about my life experience, how I became a therapist in the mental health field, what I wish clients understood, and why I’m thrilled when high-profile stars talk about their mental illness.

Read 3 Things A Therapist Wants You To Know

Oh, and feel free to comment on the article too.

Naming Your Pratice Is Like Naming A Child

I have four children. Luckily, I still like the names my husband and I gave them. Their names fit them. Their names aren’t too common or too weird. Like naming a child, choosing a practice name that fits can be a difficult process that brings up anxiety for therapists. You want your practice name to be an accurate reflection of you, as a therapist, and also appeal to your ideal clients.Â You don’t want to regret your decision down the road, right?

Ten years ago I wrestled with the question of what to name my practice. Funny enough, it was just one month after my 3rd child was born and weÂ didn’t name him for a couple of days because my husband and I couldn’t agree on his name. The name he’d picked for our son, Joshua, was a fine name but it just wasn’t him. He was Owen, not Joshua. I don’t regret taking a couple of days and “going to bat” for the name that fit my son.

I don’t regret the name I picked for my private practice either. I wrestled with a few different practice options and settled on Wasatch Family Therapy. Here are some common questions about naming your practice and some insight into how I made my decision.

As therapists we ‘re skilled at talking about what we do (“I’m a play therapist who works with children”, or “I help older adults improve their mental health”), and how we do it (“I use DBT, EMDR, and CBT” or “I help clients work through resistance to change through psychodynamic therapy”), but we don’t often talk clearly about why we do what we do.

I was recently introduced to this video by author, business guru, and optimist Simon Sinek a few months ago and found it to be incredibly inspiring and clarifying. It reaffirms that ” why” is crucial to personal and business success. I wanted to share it with you as we begin 2012 to help you clarify your practice vision for the year.

Here’s my “why” for my therapy practice:

I believe that loving and accepting relationships have incredible healing power.

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