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How to Become Less Judgmental: Studio 5

4 Ways to Become Less Judgmental 4

 

We’ve all known someone who is judgmental. It’s an unfortunate character trait and is often easy to spot in other people, but can be a bit more difficult to see in ourselves.  But the truth is that we all could stand to be more kind and accepting of others. Here are 4 strategies to become less judgmental:

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Ask Julie: I’m Afraid My Husband Will Cheat On Me

Q: I need help on this issue. I feel myself getting jealous all the time with my husband, and I don’t want to be like that. My last relationships were a disaster. My kids’ father cheated on me our whole 15-year relationship; I didn’t know he was cheating until towards the end. Then my next relationship, he went to Florida and brought someone back with him and they started living together right away. That was a 3-year relationship I had with him. I always think my husband is cheating on me or talking to someone. It’s like I don’t want him going anywhere without me. I love him, and I don’t want to be like that with him. He’s never given me a reason to think this. Please help me.

A: While it’s common for unresolved hurt from past betrayal to bring out insecurities in a current relationship, ironically, it may end up pushing your husband away if you don’t resolve your past hurts. When you bring up your jealousy with your husband, make sure that you own that it is your past, not him, that is the problem. Please meet with a therapist to address the underlying emotions that are feeding your jealousy and lack of trust. Thanks so much for writing in. Watch the video to hear my complete answer.

Take good care of yourself and your relationship!

Do Your Kids Define You?: Studio 5

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Being a good parent requires a tremendous amount of time, love, and energy, but what happens when a well-meaning mom or dad becomes too enmeshed in their children’s lives? Over-involvement can unknowingly do damage to kids, who then become responsible for their parents’ well-being and happiness. On the other hand, parents who can draw a separation between themselves and their children are emotionally healthier and are actually able to give more to their families.

Below are 5 questions to ask yourself to determine whether or not your kids define you (along with some strategies to help you reclaim yourself if you find that you’ve taken on a little too much):

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How To Be More Assertive: Studio 5

How to be assertive

“Assertiveness” is a word that can have some negative connotations. Some might equate being assertive with being pushy, bossy, or controlling. But in reality, assertiveness is a communication skill that can help us express our feelings and needs and ultimately grow closer in our relationships. The truth is that assertiveness is extremely important in having the life we want. Here are some strategies to help you be more assertive:

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What To Do When You Don’t Like Your Child’s Friends: LDS Living Magazine Interview

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Have you ever gotten bad vibes from one of your children’s friends? Maybe you felt like he/she was a negative influence or was causing your son or daughter to be unhappy.  It can be hard to know when you as a parent should get involved and when it’s better to just let things be.

As a licensed therapist and a mother of four children, I am certainly familiar with this scenario, and I recently sat down with LDS Living Magazine to offer my views on it. Here are a few strategies for what to do when you don’t like your kids’ friends:

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Boost Self-Esteem to Improve Relationships: Huff Post Interview

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No matter what great things we accomplish or how much confidence we build, the truth is that all of us have weaknesses and insecurities. And sometimes, unfortunately, they can get out of hand and interfere with our lives. Have you ever felt a strain on a relationship because of a nagging insecurity of yours? If so, you’re not alone. Studies have shown that the way we feel about ourselves, for good or for bad, is a critical factor in how happy we are in romantic relationships. 
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Ask Julie: I Have No Self-Esteem

Q:I’ve come to realize for the last fifteen years that I have no self esteem, and I try to accomplish tasks that are far too difficult to make me feel slightly okay and keep myself non-suicidal. And when I fail, I feel so terrible; like I want to die.

I’m not a suicidal person. I’m not, I just have issues with my self-esteem. I have had problems with bullying for many, many years, and only have friends over the internet, not in real life. This has resulted in my low self-esteem, I think.

To make myself get through a day and feel half decent, I try to accomplish a task. However, when I fail at this task, I feel completely worthless.  My family doesn’t care, and I don’t have anyone to turn to on this matter. Can you please help me?

A: I am so sorry to hear of your pain over the last 15 years. If you’ve been bullied for years it makes sense that your self-esteem would become very fragile. I suggest that you get into therapy, particularly group therapy, to start expanding your relationships and learn how to trust. Please take a few minutes to watch the rest of my response in the video below…

Take good care of yourself!
Julie Hanks, LCSW

Are You Self-Aware or Self-Absorbed?: Studio 5

Are you self-aware or self-absorbed?

We each have a long list of personal responsibilities: our finances, careers, bodies, families, etc. It’s critical to be aware of our lives and our needs. But when does self-awareness become self-obsession? Do we think about ourselves too much?  Here’s how to determine if you’re self-aware or self-absorbed:

Are you usually the center of attention? Do you monopolize conversations? Are all your social media updates about yourself? If so, you may be self-absorbed. Try instead to balance the attention you give to yourself and to others. Remember that everyone needs to be recognized, celebrated, and validated.

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Uplift Families Parenting Conference with Utah’s First Lady Jeanette Herbert

Uplift Families Conference

I have the pleasure to speak at the Uplift Families Parenting Conference on September 13th. Hosted by Utah First Lady Jeanette Herbert, this exciting event will feature several prominent presenters who will help us learn to develop and celebrate meaningful child-parent relationships.  Come and be inspired as we discuss ways to uplift Utah families!  Dinner is included.

My presentation will be focused on an area that parents (especially mothers) often neglect…yep, you guessed it! I’ll be tackling the topic of self-care for parents.

Get Event Details

Purchase Tickets

Download the 2014 Uplift Families Conference E-Poster

Get info about my book The Burnout Cure: An Emotional Survival Guide for Overwhelmed Women.

Hope to see you in a few weeks at the conference!