Confessions of a multitasking mama part 2

My first confessions post was a response to people constantly saying, “How do you do everything? I see you on TV, hear you on the Radio, see your Facebook posts, read your articles, you spoke at our women’s event last week, I love your music, and you have 4 kids…” I shared some of the things I don’t do as a wife/mom/homemaker (like “cook” breakfast or attend every soccer game) in the first confessions post and it ended up being the most viewed post of 2010. I’ve often wondered why.

My best guess is that it’s something like dropping by a neighbor’s house and seeing over her shoulder that her house is a pigsty, and then feeling relieved that you’re not the only one who has dishes are piled in the sink, kids running around half naked, and toys strewn across the living room. We all want to know we’re not alone – that we’re not the only imperfect woman around. You know what I really dig? I love when I’m at someone’s house, and it’s a disaster, and they DON’T apologize for it. They own it. They just carry on. It’s so refreshing. So, here it goes. Peer into my “messy house” with no apologies.

I kill plants. I try to take care of living things, namely house plants, but they are always on the brink of death. I just feel pretty darn good that the humans in my home aren’t on the brink of starvation or dehydration and seem to be growing just fine.

I never make my bed. I try to be consistent with the household chores and daily routine, but I am OK with “more often than not” for the kids and for myself.

At times, I’d rather be with my Mac than with people.  Don’t get me wrong. I love people. I love my family. I love my job as a therapist and speaker and performing songwriter. I am by nature an extrovert, energized by people, fascinated by who they are and why they do what they do. But, I am also in love with technology and I think the internet is the coolest playground ever invented. Apps, widgets, plugins, WordPress, Hootsuite…I’m a cheerleader turned techno geek.

I lie to my children. “All I want is for you to be happy,” I say. But the truth is, while I do want them to be happy, I also want them to do what I think is best for them. I want them to make me look like a good parent (after all, I’m a therapist). I want them to make me feel OK about the choices I’ve made.

I want to run away, sometimes. OK, even though I know that my life is really pretty good, I sometimes fantasize about living a lazy life on a villa at the beach, alone. But, luckily that impulse doesn’t last very long…

I watch WAY too much TV. Seriously. I am currently DVR-ing House, Biggest Loser Couples, ANTM, Storage Wars, Studio 5, The Office, The Voice, American Idol, and I’m so excited about the new season of So You Think You Can Dance that it’s kind of embarrassing.

I don’t do things I don’t want to do. OK, there are a few exceptions like cleaning up after an overflowing toilet which happened yesterday afternoon. But in general, whether it’s a speaking invitation, cleaning out a closet, writing a song, watching a friend’s kids, volunteering at school, playing a benefit concert, or taking my kids swimming I usually go with my gut in deciding what to commit to. I think that what I want and how I feel about what I’m doing in life is crucial information.

Ok, now it’s your turn to confess. What are the things you don’t do? Comment below (your email will no be made public).

Self & relationship expert Julie de Azevedo Hanks, LCSW is wife of 22 years and mother of 4, a licensed psychotherapist, a popular media contributor, and director of Wasatch Family Therapy. Watch Julie on KSL TV’s Studio 5, listen on B98.7 radio, and read her national advice columns on Psych Central, and Latter-day Woman Magazine. Follow Julie on Twitter & Facebook!